


Second Chance

by Amarxlen, HinataOC



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Kingdom Hearts 3 spoilers, Post Kingdom Hearts 3, Reader Insert, Reunion, Second Person, Spoilers, post kh3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarxlen/pseuds/Amarxlen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinataOC/pseuds/HinataOC
Summary: How much is too much to be forgiven? How far is too far to be redeemed? And who has the right to decide who deserves a second chance? After a fated reunion, two people find themselves asking these very questions. -- Originally posted to tumblr under the KH imagine blog, lucky0stars --





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt was given to write Isa x Fem!S/O reuniting. This is what happened.

_**Reunion** _

“This part of the castle is still off limits,” Leon was saying, pointing at a set of blueprints.

You, along with the rest of the Restoration Committee, had all been poring over the diagrams for some time. Every time you thought you’d be done with something, one step closer to the end, something else came up. First it had been Heartless reappearing in the town, then it had been the defense system going haywire and attacking indiscriminately. Now, it was leftover thorns and brambles from Maleficent’s magic that none of you had been able to get rid of.

Everybody’s expressions were weary, and Leon looked about ready to pull all of his hair out. Radiant Garden was yours again, and everything was moving forward in leaps and bounds, but it still felt like the pall of Darkness lingered over everything. You supposed it quite literally did, with Maleficent’s impenetrable thorns blocking part of the basement.

The doorway to the basement area had been hidden, and Ansem the Wise had seemed full of shame to reveal it to you. Ansem himself had been unable to traverse the stairs downwards, but assured the Restoration Committee and his newly reformed apprentices that he had nothing left to hide. He advised that, though he had nothing left hidden down there, he couldn’t speak for Xehanort, so you should tread with caution. Weapons drawn, you, Leon, and Yuffie had walked down the long stairway and begun investigating — only to find that they couldn’t get very far before encountering the indestructible thorns that could only belong to one dark fairy.

Now, Leon was pointing out where you could no longer go unless there was some sort of emergency. Nobody wanted to think about what the lingering thorns could mean, though it was hard to think about anything but.

“At least until we figure out some way to get rid of that mess.”

The brunet leaned back from the table, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so.

“Maybe we should all rest,” Aerith said in her soft way that somehow left no room for argument.

Before anybody could respond, a knock came at the door, drawing everybody’s attention. You looked up at the door as it opened to see Even stepping in. All of you were at least somewhat familiar with each other, having grown up in the same small town your whole lives, but you’d gotten to know him much better while working on the restoration of Radiant Garden.

“Forgive the intrusion,” he said, managing to somehow sound not apologetic at all, even though you knew he meant the words. “But there is a… new recruit who wishes to lend his assistance.”

You exchanged surprised looks with the rest of the Committee.

“New recruit?” Yuffie echoed.

“Send him in,” Leon said.

You looked back at the door, your curiosity growing and racking your brain for who it could possibly be. Nothing could have prepared you for the familiar face that walked through the door. Your eyes widened, hand instinctively coming up to cover your mouth as you gasped. He was taller, hair much longer, and an angry looking “x” shaped scar crossed his face now, but it was still a face as familiar to you as your own. It felt as though your stomach had jumped into your throat as Even spoke again.

“This is—”

“ _Isa_ ,” you breathed.

Suddenly all eyes were on you, including his turquoise ones as they flashed with recognition.

“Y/N…”

He looked just as surprised to see you there as you were to see him.

For a moment the others in the room looked between the two of you in silence, and then Yuffie piped up.

“What? You two know each other?”

Her words broke the trance and you looked away, cheeks growing hot at your reaction to his sudden appearance.

“Yeah.”

There was a brief moment of blessed silence.

“Ohhhhh, I get it! You—”

“Yuffie, we should go upstairs. Isn’t it your turn to patrol the town?”

“What? No, it’s not—”

“Aerith’s right. Let’s get going,” Leon agreed.

“But it’s not—”

“Then it’s settled!” Aerith clapped her hands together, before placing them on Yuffie’s shoulders and steering the protesting girl past Isa and through the doors.

“Don’t worry about anything. Consider yourself free for the rest of the night.” Leon rested his hand briefly on your shoulder before following the girls from the room.

“I should return to the lab as well. We’ve very nearly completed Namine’s replica.”

Without waiting for a response, Even turned and left. Leaving you alone with Isa for the first time in over ten years. Now that you’d gotten over your shock, you looked him over, noting the differences between this grown man and the boy you remembered. Aside from the obvious differences — the hair, the height, the fact that you were both much older — you could see in his eyes a sort of haunted weariness as he studied you as well.

“Isa… is it really you?”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Yes, it’s me.”

Something about his demeanor caused your own hesitation to vanish. Suddenly, you were rushing forward, throwing your arms around him and squeezing tightly.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” you choked out, burying your head against his chest.

You couldn’t help the tears that came at how solid he felt against you, how you could feel his warmth and hear his heartbeat. When the world had fallen to darkness and then finally returned, you thought he’d been lost forever. You hadn’t seen him in Traverse Town, or Radiant Garden — until now.

The two of you hadn’t exactly been extremely close, but you remembered the looks shared between the two of you, the sweet, hesitant smiles he’d given you. Small bits of conversation underneath a blue sky studded with puffy white clouds, little remarks that didn’t mean anything, but said everything. You remembered more than anything the _possibility_ , the promise that maybe the two of you could be more. And you remembered the grief when it seemed like that possibility had been snuffed out.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said.

His words were nonsensical, what did he have to be sorry for? You shook your head against his chest.

“I’m just… so happy to see you again,” you admitted.

He paused again, waiting a long moment before his arms reached up to wrap around you in return. A short laugh escaped your mouth, disbelieving. This was _real_.

“I’m happy to see you too.”

His tone was complicated — an apparent mixture of disbelief, wonder, and complete sincerity. You pulled away just enough to look up at him, feeling your breath catch in your throat again, once more taking in the familiar features that had matured with time. He’d always made your heart skip a beat, but now there was something more to it, a desire forming inside of you. But that was silly, it had been so long. Was he even the same person anymore? You knew you’d changed since then.

“Where have you been, Isa?”

He was more uncertain than you had ever seen him and the sight was somehow endearing.

“It’s… a long story,” he said.

“I’ve got time.”

He looked into your eyes, scanning your face for something — your own uncertainty perhaps. But you just returned the gaze, arms still wrapped around him, and somehow not feeling self-conscious about it one bit.

Finally, he gave you a small smile, and then nodded.

“Alright. I’ll tell you everything.”


	2. Understanding

**** _**Understanding** _   


Orange light bathed Radiant Garden in twilight. Shops were beginning to close, except for the couple of restaurants near the main plaza, and the residents were beginning to return home. You usually enjoyed people watching, noticing the change in their demeanors and the way the atmosphere relaxed more and more with each day that there was no sign of Heartless in the main and residential areas. It was something that filled you with pride, feeling like you were able to protect your home in a way you hadn’t been when the world had first fallen to darkness. Back then, you had been lucky to escape with your life.

All around you, you could hear happy chatter, the sounds of people discussing their day as they ate their dinners, and kids playing. Sounds that, for a long time, you wondered if you’d ever hear again. A small smile lifted your lips, despite the fact that your mind was running in circles over everything Isa had told you. True to his word, Leon had made sure that you hadn’t had any other responsibilities for the rest of the night, and so you had decided to spend it with Isa. He’d told you everything, just like he said he would, and when he finally finished his tale and stopped speaking, you’d found that your voice wouldn’t come.

After an awkward silence, he’d told you he would be right back, and then gotten up and walked away. Stunned, you hadn’t thought to look up or ask where he was going, and now you found yourself at a loss for what to do.

You couldn’t just get up and walk away, not after the way he’d been so transparent with you. Somewhere in the back of your mind you could appreciate how hard it must have been to speak those words at all, and what it might mean that he had trusted you enough with the brutal truth. And not just about himself, but about the others as well. He hadn’t gone into detail on what Even, Ienzo, and the others had done, saying it wasn’t his place to tell, but he had explained that for the past several years, all of them had belonged to an Organization.

You didn’t know much about the Organization to start, but you knew enough from the Restoration Committee and Sora that the Organization were a group of people who terrorized the worlds. And now that Isa was back, you knew to what ends. Or at least what they had believed at the time.

To get their hearts back.

You bit your lip, staring down at the cobblestone underneath your feet. Could you really blame them for that? Not having a heart… You couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like, what any of them must have gone through. How could anybody not want to have it back, after having it so brutally taken away like Isa had? But just because you could be sympathetic, didn’t mean you could excuse their actions. After all, how many people had gotten hurt because of them?

The more you thought about it, the more conflicted you became. You couldn’t reconcile what you knew of Isa into the person he had called Saix. Could you even call them the same person? Isa had always been somewhat arrogant, his teasing of Lea unrelenting, but he wasn’t a cruel person. Not the way he had described himself acting as Saix. And yet… he seemed truly remorseful, so didn’t that mean he deserved a second chance? Could you look past his past, when all that had been shared between you were a handful of meetings and an intangible possibility that had been ripped away?

You sighed, wringing your hands in your lap before jolting back a bit as a familiar blue ice cream bar entered your field of vision. Looking up, you saw Isa had returned, holding the sea-salt ice cream out like it was a peace offering, face hesitant. For a moment, you stared into his eyes, blue, just the way you always remembered them. Then you reached out slowly and took the ice cream.

“Scrooge’s shop is still open,” he said idly as he sat down next to you.

You nodded, recognizing that it was just something to fill the silence that had fallen between you two. Unsure of what to say, you bit into the ice cream bar to buy yourself some time. Night was falling rapidly now, stars beginning to appear in the sky. When you’d asked him to tell you his story, you hadn’t imagined it would be anything like this.

“You’re conflicted.”

Your eyes darted up to him, a blush starting to spread across your features. His eyes met yours, and you were surprised to see that he was almost finished with his own ice cream bar. You looked away again, feeling almost ashamed, and nodded.

“It’s… a lot to take in,” you admitted.

“I know.”

You took another bite of your ice cream to buy yourself time to respond, all the while knowing that he was waiting patiently for you to come to terms with what he’d told you, or tell him to take a hike and never come near you again.

“It doesn’t sound like the same person, “ you finally said. “It’s doesn’t sound like you. Not the you I know, anyways.”

He nodded in understanding, staring down at the popsicle stick in his hand.

“There were times where it didn’t feel like being the same person. If you’d ever asked me… if I thought myself capable of doing those things, of treating people — children, really — the way I did… I never would have said yes.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” you said automatically. “That’s not you.”

The conversation lulled again, neither of you exactly knowing what to say to your sincere declaration. But just like that, you did know one thing. You finished your ice cream and looked up at him.

“Isa?” He met your gaze. “Can I…?”

You let your sentence trail off, holding up your hand and gesturing towards his heart. A puzzled expression crossed his face, but after a moment he nodded and reached up to grasp your wrist, directing your hand to rest over his heart. You spread your fingers, feeling his steady heartbeat and for the first time in your life, the involuntary action filled you with awe.

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like.” He didn’t answer, but you felt his fingers tighten minutely around your wrist. Though neither of you were speaking, the air felt charged, sitting together like nothing and everything had changed. “Is it stupid to say I forgive you?”

He shook his head, a small smile lifting his lips.

“No… actually, it really helps.”

You couldn’t help but smile in return as you repeated, “Isa, I forgive you.”

His answer was to close his eyes, his smile growing. Your own heart fluttered in your chest and you had the sensation that  _ finally _ , it was starting. 


	3. Danger

_**Danger** _

You stared down into the darkness of the basement. Nobody had set foot in it since Leon’s declaration of it being off limits, and with no new leads, it hadn’t been spoken about either. Not until Isa had come to you, a complicated look on his face that you couldn’t decipher, and told you about the human experimentation Xehanort had continued under Ansem’s nose. 

_ Human experimentation. _

You shuddered to even think the words, your eyes darting over to Isa. Despite the heart to heart the two of you had had a few days ago, things were still awkward between the two of you, perhaps even moreso now. Part of it was because you would remember the things he’d told you at the worst times, like on the rare occasion when he would grace you with a smile. It seemed the smallest things could remind you of the man called Saix, the man you hoped you’d never meet, for many, many reasons. You hated how it stopped you from reaching out to him when you felt you should, when you felt he needed you. Shaking off those thoughts, you turned back to Isa.

“You don’t have to do this, you know. We won’t be able to get very far anyway.”

His gaze hardened, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was still staring down the stairway, a new determination filling his features.

“I’m well aware of the witch’s powers.” And then there were times where he said things like this, and you couldn’t tell if the chills coursing through you were good or bad. “This is something I have to do.” He finally looked up at you, making your heart skip a beat. “But you don’t have to come with me.”

“No. I want to.” You hesitated, unable to look at him when you spoke next. “You shouldn’t have to do this alone.”

From the corner of your eye you could see as his expression softened and a small smile lifted his lips. It felt like he was about to say something, but the silence remained unbroken as he finally stepped forward. Even though Leon had given his — rather reluctant — permission, you still felt like you were doing something wrong. Or at the very least, something not particularly smart. You pursed your lips and swallowed your doubt, hurriedly following Isa down the stairs.

The basement creeped you out under the best circumstances, and now that you knew what it had been used for, it creeped you out even more. You caught up with Isa, unable to stop yourself from reaching out to lightly grasp the back of his shirt. He didn’t pause in his steps, but glanced back over his shoulder at you. That brief bit of eye contact was reassuring and you let out a small sigh.

You didn’t know why Isa wanted to go down there so badly, just that he had come to you and told you he had to go down there, leaving no room for argument. You had to admit, it had been pretty impressive, the way he’d convinced Leon to let him go to the basement. In all the years you’d known Leon, you’d only ever seen him lose an argument to Aerith.

The stairs ended and the floor evened out beneath your feet. In the darkness you imagined hundreds of scared children, your brain supplying horrifying images of them in cages and test tubes. You practically pulled Isa over, refusing to let go of his shirt even in your haste to get to the lightswitch, flicking it up and chasing away the images, but not the thoughts.

“This is it,” you said, watching Isa’s face to judge his reaction.

For a long moment, he just stood there, a deep frown on his face. Then he stepped deliberately forward, pulling you along with him as he went. He walked around the room, and you couldn’t help but notice the way his hand would lift up before immediately falling back down, almost but never touching anything.

“It hasn’t changed at all…”

“Isa?” He started, eyes finding you, as if he’d somehow forgotten you were there even with your grip on his shirt. “What do you mean, it hasn’t changed at all? You’ve been down here before?”

He took a deep breath, scanning the room again, his eyes lingering on the thorns that blocked a second doorway from your reach.

“It was when I an apprentice to Ansem the Wise.” He stepped forward, and this time your hand fell from his shirt. “Or perhaps it was Xehanort all along. He told us, Lea and me, that his research was on behalf of Ansem the Wise.”

He didn’t have to voice his disbelief that Ansem would order such experiments. It was evident in his tone and his face. He’d told you how he and Lea had become two of Ansem’s youngest apprentices, explaining how he had been within the castle to lose his heart in the first place, but he still hadn’t told you why they’d done that. There had been so much information for you to process, so you hadn’t thought to ask why at the time.

“Why… did the two of you become apprentices in the first place?”

He didn’t look at you when he answered.

“...there was a girl.”

You didn’t have time for the jealousy to even properly sink in before everything erupted into chaos. Suddenly, the thorns that had been sitting benignly by sprang to life. They rocketed outward, somehow seeming to grow and expand while still blocking the doorway. Eyes wide, you darted back, unable to completely dodge the attack in your surprise and wincing as the thorns grazed your cheek. Across the room you saw a flash of light, and when your eyes found Isa, you saw that he was wielding a giant claymore with practiced ease.

The action reminded you to summon your own weapons, a pair of katars, just in time to slice through another vine aimed straight at you. The severed piece fell to the floor, disappearing in a cloud of darkness, only for more to spring up in its place. That was the problem with the vines — they weren’t indestructible in a way that you couldn’t damage them, they were indestructible in that there was never an end to them. Whenever any of you got rid of one, ten more popped up in its place. It was all you could to do dodge them and fight back, and then all of a sudden, your feet were pulled out from under you.

“Isa!”

His name left your lips on pure instinct, even if you couldn’t see him anymore through the tangle of thorns around you. You lashed out with your daggers, limbs flailing with none of the grace you had shown before, the only thought in your panicked mind to  _ get out _ . A scream escaped you right before the room became clear again, a blur of blue rushing past your face. The thorns that had ensnared you were disappearing into black smoke and then you were being pulled roughly to your feet.

“Y/N, go!”

“But—”

“ _ Go! _ ”

You hesitated for only a moment longer before turning and running up the stairs. As you reached the top, you glanced back over your shoulder, realization suddenly hitting you that the blue blur you had seen was Isa. Your hand was on the doorframe, but you couldn’t make yourself move, mesmerized by the way he was tearing through the vines and surrounded by an eerie glow.

“Isa…?”

What… was going on?

“I told you to  _ go _ ,” he scolded.

You jumped at his voice in your ear and his arm around you, pulling you away from the stairs and back into the safety of the upstairs lab. He hurriedly shut the door behind you, and you winced again when you heard the unmistakable sound of the thorns hitting the metal. It took a moment for you to slowly open your eyes, looking up at Isa uncertainly.

“Isa, was that…?”

_ Saix? _

He looked away in shame, and you suddenly felt guilty for your assumption. You reached out, placing your hand on his arm, undeterred by his steadfast refusal to look at you.

“Isa… It’s okay…” You paused, a thought occurring to you. You bent down a little bit so you could see his face past his hair. “ _ I’m _ okay.”

The words seemed to spark something in him. He jerked away from you and for a brief moment you thought you’d upset him before he was engulfing you in his arms. You could hear his heart racing in his chest as he squeezed you tightly and you reflexively wrapped your arms around him in return.

“I’m okay,” you murmured again.

“I told you to go,” he repeated.

His tone was strained, and confirmed your thoughts that he had been scared for your safety. His arms tightened around you, but after a moment, you felt his body relaxing as it set in that you were, in fact, okay. And that was a reminder, more than anything, that Isa was back, and he was more like the boy you remembered than you had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates for this story come as requested to lucky0stars. As much as I enjoy it, I have other blog obligations and my own personal projects. If there are any scenes you'd like to see for Isa and Fem!Reader, please send them to lucky0stars on tumblr, or you can send us a Ko-Fi! (Link on lucky0stars tumblr bio.)


	4. Jealousy

_**Jealousy** _

You didn’t mean for it to happen. For days you had been trying to bite your tongue, to push down the feelings you knew were irrational, and yet, you couldn’t help how they lingered. At first, the trip to the basement had seemed like the perfect thing to bridge the gap that was still present between the two of you, but after a few days you had to admit that gap only seemed to be growing wider. Isa wasn’t secretive, exactly, but there were definitely some things he wasn’t telling you. Considering his declaration that he’d tell you everything, you were confused, upset, and honestly a bit hurt.

It didn’t seem like the right way to reestablish your relationship — with lies, regardless of whether or not they were intentional. The thought plagued your mind, no matter how much you tried to tell yourself it shouldn’t. You kept wondering about the girl he’d mentioned, who she was, and why he hadn’t just told you that was why he’d wanted to go into the basement. He knew there was a reason Leon had declared the basement off limits, knew the dangers, and he’d gone down there anyway. You’d take full responsibility for being stubborn and putting yourself at risk by going with him, but you couldn’t accept the fact that it had all been for another girl.

The more you thought about it, the more it ate away at you, until a fear you’d once been reasonably able to dismiss became all consuming.

What if he had replaced you?

Or worse: What if you had never been worth replacing in the first place?

You were starting to realize that the feelings that had been growing within you for Isa were more than just nostalgic affection for a childhood almost something. You enjoyed being around him, talking with him, and patrolling the streets together for the non-existent Heartless threat. More than that, you wanted to be there for him, wanted to help him readjust to the world he’d been denied a part in for ten whole years.

So you weren’t quite sure why you had to open your big mouth and demand to know why he was searching so hard for this stranger, and what he was planning to do once he found her.

You both sat there in silence, your words echoing in the space between the two of you. A breath of space that now seemed as wide as the Great Maw and twice as deep.

_“Why do you care so much about finding her?”_

It sounded awful spoken out loud, and you regretted it the moment the words passed your lips. Of course it mattered, she was a human person, a girl, who’d been experimented on and locked in a cage in a dark and creepy basement. You’d gotten that much out of Isa after the fiasco with the thorns, and you felt guilty for being jealous of this girl. What kind of person in their right mind would be jealous of that? And yet you felt it all the same.

“I should think it was obvious.”

There were too many implications behind his words, and once again, you feared they might be romantic. You wanted to rage. You wanted to say that you were the one who had welcomed him back, who had listened to his story and accepted his words. You were the one who had forgiven him and felt the beat of his newly reclaimed heart. Didn’t any of that mean anything to him?

“You don’t even know where she is.”

“I’m well aware of that, which is why I’m searching for clues to her whereabouts.”

You winced at the coldness in his tone, even as you knew that you fully deserved it. Everything he was saying was reasonable, and didn’t warrant your jealousy or anger at all. You were finding it impossible to look him in the eyes, instead staring down at your feet and clenching your hands painfully on the edge of the bench where you’d once talked and shared ice cream. You knew that all you had to do was open your mouth and explain your feelings to him, and any misunderstandings would be cleared up.

But what if you weren’t misunderstanding at all?

The fear kept your mouth firmly shut, unable to let those words escape into the open air. You couldn’t help but jump and look up when Isa finally stood.

“I would have thought you’d be more understanding.”

You spoke without thinking when he started walking away.

“I—!” But your words died in your throat when he turned and looked at you, expression cold.

He raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for you to speak. You fidgeted under his gaze, your eyes darting around before looking at your feet again.

“What…” You swallowed and tried again when your voice came out weakly. “What are you going to do if you find her?”

There was a moment of hesitation before he answered, and it didn’t do anything to quell the feelings surging within you.

“I don’t know.” Another pause. “Was that it?” 

Heart sinking in your chest, you couldn’t do anything but nod. He didn’t leave right away, his feet still in your line of sight before he sighed and left. 

You let out a deep shuddering sigh and felt tears pricking your eyes. There was something that felt awfully, heartbreakingly final about his departure, and you sat there, mentally berating yourself. Why hadn’t you spoken up? Why hadn’t you just told him what was bothering you, the maelstrom of feelings that were inside of you? After everything he had told you, everything he had come clean about — everything that he was ashamed of and hated about himself, he’d willingly told you. You felt petty and small and ashamed that you couldn’t do the same. You knew what the right thing to do was, that you should follow him and offer to keep helping him find the girl, and maybe with time you would.

But for the moment all you could do was let your tears fall as your guilt and your jealousy held you frozen in place.


	5. Ice Cream

**_Ice_ ** **_Cream_**

It had been days since you’d last seen Isa, though not for lack of trying. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was avoiding you, or if fate really was that cruel and you just kept missing each other. You couldn’t necessarily blame him if he was avoiding you. The words you’d said last time the two of you had spoken were burned into your mind and every time you thought about it, you began to feel sick.

You sighed deeply and hung your head in your hands.

“Man, talk about moping with a capital ‘M’.”

Your head jerked up, jumping back slightly at the ice cream bar that was being shoved in your face. You followed the hand up to a familiar face and you felt yourself relax.

“Lea…”

“You and Isa still fighting?” he asked, waving the ice cream in your face and causing a drip to fall down into your lap.

You wiped the drip from your leg and snatched the ice cream from him, quickly shoving it into your mouth before it could drip more. As the salty sweet taste coated your tongue, you mulled over Lea’s words. Could you really even call it arguing if the two of you weren’t speaking? You looked up out of the corner of your eyes. And what exactly did Lea know about it anyway?

“Is that what he told you?”

“Nah,” he said flippantly, drawing your gaze fully to where he leaned back on one hand while still eating his ice cream. “Isa doesn’t talk about stuff like that.”

“Oh.”

Your gaze found your feet again and you felt your shoulders slump at his words. You hadn’t realized that you’d been hoping for Isa to say something to Lea until you received the confirmation that he hadn’t. After a pause, Lea spoke again.

“Sheesh, lighten up. Isa doesn’t talk about stuff like that, but I’m his best friend. It’s written all over his face that he’s just as miserable as you.”

Even as your eyes widened, you didn’t let yourself look up at him this time, half certain that you’d find a teasing smirk on his face if you did so. And even if he did look miserable, who was to say that it was because of your sort of argument and not because he was no closer to finding the mysterious girl from his past?

“Man, you’ve got it bad, huh?” That caused you to look up at him, cheeks reddening. “Listen, Y/N, I’m gonna level with you, but you didn’t hear any of this from me,” he continued, pointing his ice cream at you. “Got it memorized?”

Mutely, you nodded, unsure of what Lea might possibly say to you that he shouldn’t. He watched you for a few seconds longer before nodding in satisfaction and looking away. Now that he’d gotten your agreement, he seemed temporarily at a loss for words as he reached up with his free hand to rub the back of his head.

“First thing’s first, I guess.” He blew out a sigh. “That girl that Isa’s looking for — Subject X, they called her.” You breathed in sharply, drawing Lea’s attention to you and causing you to quickly look away again. “You gotta understand, she didn’t even know her own name. This girl, the same age as us, locked in a cage while they did who knows what to her.” Lea’s hands were clenched into fists, voice thick with emotion. “We couldn’t just leave her like that.”

“What did you do?” You asked in a hushed tone.

The redhead glanced at you and then snorted.

“We did what any stupid kids would have done.” This time when he looked up, he made sure to hold your gaze. “We tried to rescue her.”

You opened your mouth to ask another question when Lea looked pointedly at the melting ice cream in your hand. Huffing shortly, you brought it back up to take another bite.

“So what happened?” you prompted when Lea didn’t continue.

There was something pensive about his expression that was so at odds with his normal joking demeanor that you briefly wondered if you were even talking to the same boy you used to know. But the answer was obvious, just like it was with Isa. In so many ways they were exactly the same… and in just as many ways they were total strangers. He stared at his ice cream, letting it almost drip down his hand before he took a forceful and final bite. A slow smile lifted his lips when he saw the popsicle stick.

“Well would ya look at that?” He tilted the stick towards you so you could see the text printed on it. “I’m a winner.”

“Lea.”

There was suddenly a burning need in you to know more about this girl, to know more about what happened. Lea seemed to sense this and sighed again, turning the stick over in his fingers.

“One day when we went back to the castle, she was just gone. We looked everywhere for her and in the end, we thought it was a good idea to ask to be apprentices, like Ienzo was.” His expression darkened. “But we were wrong. We ended up losing our hearts, and we never found her.”

“And… that’s when you two joined the Organization?”

“That’s when we joined the Organization,” he agreed, a wry twist to his lips as he tossed the stick into the air with a flick of his wrist. “Isa’s been looking for her ever since.”

The two of you lapsed into silence again, and you mulled over his words. Over ten years of searching and Isa still hadn’t given up. The thought made your stomach roll and your ice cream suddenly looked unappetizing.

“Are you still looking?”

Lea didn’t meet your gaze, cheeks reddening faintly.

“Not exactly,” he admitted.

“Then why is Isa? What is it about this girl? Do you think he—“

You cut yourself off before more words could spill from you, more damning evidence of your pointless jealousy. But if Lea had stopped looking after all this time and Isa hadn’t, what else were you supposed to think? Lea shrugged in response.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I think it’s because he feels like he owes her. Like we shoulda been able to get her out of there. But I can tell you one thing for sure.” Your eyes finally met as you waited with bated breath for what he would say next. “Isa’s got it as bad for you as you do for him.” He winked at you cheekily. “He just won’t admit it. And if you ever tell him I told you that, I’ll deny it to my grave, got it memorized?”

Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes widened. You’d barely heard anything Lea said after his declaration of Isa’s feelings for you — and he had to know what he was talking about, right? He was Isa’s best friend after all. It felt like everything Lea had told you was hitting you with the force of a gummi ship and you jumped to your feet suddenly.

“Lea,” you said forcefully, interrupting his tirade about you not listening to him. “Can I have that?”

He blinked in surprise and then looked down at the popsicle stick you were pointing at.

“This? Well, I was planning on getting Roxas and Xion some…”

“ _Please_.”

“Alright, alright,” he said, holding his hands up defensively. “But you did just let your other one melt.”

“It’s not for me,” you answered, snatching it from his outstretched hand.

If you hurried, you could catch Scrooge at his shop before it closed. Lea’s eyes widened slightly in realization and he leaned back on his hands.

“Oh, I get it.” A smirk lifted his lips as he gave you a thumbs up. “Go get ‘im, tiger.”

You didn’t need any further prompting, giving Lea a smile over your shoulder as you rushed off towards Scrooge’s shop. You arrived just before it was closing, but the duck was all too happy to give you an ice cream bar in exchange for the “winner” stick, even good-naturedly trying to start a conversation with you before you told him you were in a hurry. For days Isa had been sequestering himself in the castle, it was just a matter of whether he was in Ansem’s study, the library, or lingering in the entrance to the basement. You had a single-minded want, a _need_ to make things better.

Fortune seemed to smile on you, as Leon and Aerith were just heading back into town when you arrived at the castle.

“What’s the rush?”

“Is everything alright?”

“It’s fine, everything’s fine,” you managed, wanting to ease their worried expressions as soon as possible.

The two of them relaxed slightly, but still seemed concerned about your harried state.

“What’s going on, Y/N?”

“Have either of you seen Isa? Is he still here?”

They exchanged a glance, Aerith’s lips quirking upward in a slight smile.

“Yes, he’s still inside. He’s in the lab again.”

You felt yourself return her smile, your relief palpable as you rushed past them, sparing just enough time to offer them a thank you before you ran into the building. The hallways were blessedly empty, like always, and you raced down the corridors you knew like the back of your hand to where the lab was. Once you got to the door, you stopped suddenly, breathing heavily with one hand on the doorframe.

Isa was inside, leaned over Ansem’s computer, once more searching through files he’d probably already been through hundreds of times. His eyes flicking up to look at you briefly was the only sign you got that he noticed your arrival, though your footsteps had been anything but quiet. Your heart felt like it was in your throat and it wasn’t because you had just run all the way through town and the castle in roughly ten minutes. Swallowing roughly, you forced yourself to step away from the doorframe and into the room.

You joined Isa at the computer, your eyes glancing over the files he had open, seeing that most of them were titled “Secret Report” and had a corresponding number. It took you a moment, but you finally found your voice.

“Any luck?” you asked awkwardly.

“No.”

You winced at his curt response, eyes finding the ice cream still in your hand and starting to melt. Either he was still upset with you, or… maybe he was just discouraged at having found nothing, and his irritation didn’t have anything to do with you. You took a deep breath, reminding yourself of what Lea had said, and that regardless of even that, this was the right thing to do.

“Do you need some help?”

He paused before looking up at you slowly. Once his eyes met yours, you held out the ice cream to him, trying to ignore the way it had made your fingers sticky. Isa looked at the ice cream, eyebrow raising slightly. He shook his head slightly and you felt your heart sink before you realized he was also smiling.

“Yes,” he said, reaching up to take the ice cream from you. “I would greatly appreciate that.”

As he took the ice cream from you and your fingers brushed, you couldn’t help the relieved and ecstatic grin that split your face.

“You shouldn’t touch the computer with your sticky fingers though.”

A laugh escaped your lips at his words.

“Scoot over,” you said, bumping his hip with yours and noticing the way his smile grew before he put the ice cream in his mouth, almost as if to hide it.

It looked like Lea knew what he was talking about after all.


	6. Human

_**Human** _

“Ahem.”

The soft, yet firm sound of Aerith clearing her throat drew your attention away from the papers and reports you had been poring over and immediately set you on edge. You knew all too well what that tone meant. You, Isa, or both of you, were about to get a lecture.

She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips as she stared the both of you down.

“Hi Aerith,” you said sheepishly, trying to wrack your brain for what you possibly could have done to earn the stern look she was sending you.

Her eyes swept between you and Isa, but you didn’t let yourself look away from her. Aerith could be terrifying when she wanted to be, and she was bordering on it right now.

“When’s the last time either of you two were outside?”

You blinked in surprise. Of all the things you’d expected her to say, that had not been one of them. This time you couldn’t stop yourself from looking over at Isa. Your eyes met and you could see that he was just as confused as you. You kept forgetting that he didn’t know the Restoration Committee members as well as you did, but it was apparent now in how he seemed at a loss for how to respond.

“Oh, um… well…”

“Too long,” Aerith interrupted you sharply. “It’s been days since either of you has left this lab. You need a break, some fresh air.”

“Aerith, you know what we’re doing is important.”

“And I’m not saying it’s not.” She stepped towards the two of you, her tone understanding, but her stare never faltering. “But it’s important that you take care of yourselves, too.”

“Thank you for your concern,” Isa spoke up. “But we’re fine.”

Despite his words, his expression was questioning, silently checking with you if he was correct i speaking for you as well. You gave him a small nod before turning back to Aerith.

“Yeah, we’re fi—”

“No. This is unacceptable.” 

She closed the rest of the distance between the two of you and snatched the reports straight from your hands.

“Hey!”

You whirled around to follow her as she walked away and in the next moment, she had done the same to Isa and you could see the way his face tightened.

“I’d appreciate if you gave those back,” he said lowly.

The air suddenly felt charged, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as you remembered the aura he’d had around him while fighting Maleficent’s thorns down in the basement. You immediately jumped up from your chair, not sure what you expected to happen, but on guard all the same.

“A-Aerith—”

“No,” she said again, clearly uncowed by the way Isa was glaring at her. “You two are going to go out and spend the day in town. I won’t hear any arguments.”

“You—”

“Aerith, come on,” you stepped in, trying to diffuse the situation. “This is really important.”

She looked between you and Isa, expression softening as she sighed. 

“I know that, Y/N, Isa. I can’t imagine what that poor girl went through… or what she’s still going through.” She paused, glancing down at the papers in her hand before she regained her resolve. “But this lab and these papers will still be here when you get back. And who knows? Maybe going out will help you look at things with a new perspective and you’ll see something you missed before.”

You hesitated. She had several good points. You couldn’t clearly remember the last time you’d seen the sun, or spoken with anybody besides Isa, or eaten food that didn’t come out of a box lukewarm. Slowly, her insistence at getting the two of you out of the lab seemed like a good thing.

“Isa, I think she’s right.” He opened his mouth, ready to argue with you before you stepped forward and put your hand on his arm. “It’s okay to take a break. You deserve it.”

He glanced at Aerith and then back at you, his apprehension fading until he nodded wearily.

“Alright,” he agreed, smiling softly. “What do you have in mind?”

It didn’t take long for the two of you to follow the path out of the castle and back into town, but once there, your steps slowed. You weren’t sure where to go, and things had changed over ten years. While the town was mostly the same as Isa remembered, there was enough newness that you could tell it unsettled him, besides the lingering feelings he must have had about leaving the lab. An idea began to form in your mind and you smiled at him.

“Hey.” He looked over at you, quirking a brow at your smile. “What do you say to a tour?”

If possible, his brow lifted higher and you giggled at the expression.

“A tour of my hometown?” he asked skeptically.

“Things have changed the past few years,” you insisted.

“Enough to warrant a tour?”

He crossed his arms and you felt a slight twinge of annoyance run through you before you noticed the corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly and realized he was teasing you. Well two could play at that game. You stepped forward and grabbed his arm, throwing him a smirk as that teasing expression fell.

“I’m not the one who got lost on the way to Merlin’s,” you quipped.

“In my defense, I never had cause to go there before.”

“Excuses,” you said cheekily, tugging on his arm with an exaggerated sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

Isa opened his mouth to retort, but then just as quickly stopped. A wry smile lifted his lips and he shook his head. You grinned at his realization that you were teasing him back and gave his arm another tug.

“Give me a tour, apparently.”

“That’s right!” you sing-songed, looping your arm through his as he let you direct him towards town.

The two of you walked along, while you narrated things you were passing — sometimes in all seriousness letting him know what had changed while he was gone. More often than not though you used an exaggerated voice to describe things that you knew were still the same. Isa was a good sport, playing along with your game and you felt a weight you’d grown all too used to leaving your shoulders. It was with chagrin that you realized Aerith was — once again, as she usually was — completely right in her assertion that the two of you needed to get out of the lab.

A small smile lifted your lips as you saw Isa start to genuinely enjoy himself, offering you a smile every now and then, especially when he caught you staring. You felt your cheeks warm a little every time he looked at you like that and soon enough your smile was uncontainable.

“Oh,” you said, catching a glimpse of one of the newer restaurants in the area. “I would  _ love _ to eat something hot and fresh.”

His gaze followed your finger to where you were pointing at the restaurant, and almost as if on cue, his stomach gave a loud rumble. You blinked in surprise, the two of you making eye contact as Isa’s cheeks began to turn bright red and you burst into a fit of laughter.

“Y/N,” he warned.

You tried to contain your laughter, managing to get them down to giggles before looking at him and bursting into laughter all over again.

“Sorry, s-sorry,” you wheezed, snickering even under his disapproving look. Finally getting yourself back under control, you straightened. “I’ll take that as a sound of agreement.”

He held his glare for a moment longer before sighing.

“Yes, I’d like some food too.”

You smiled at him, only mildly apologetic as the two of you went into the restaurant and were seated. It didn’t take long after the two of you had sat down that an awkwardness descended. Now that you weren’t goofing around on a fake tour, you weren’t quite sure what to say to him. Your smile fell, and even as you chided yourself for suddenly being so awkward, you avoided his eyes and played with your fork instead. Sitting there, your thoughts began to drift back to Subject X and the fact that the two of you were no closer to finding her than before. And, more selfishly, that you still didn’t know why Isa was looking so hard.

“Hey, Isa?”

“Hm?”

“About… Subje— I mean, this girl…” Even without looking at him you could tell that he tensed up at your words. “I’m not… trying to upset you. I really want to understand… why you’re looking for her so hard.”

“Are you trying to ask if I have feelings for her?”

Your head jerked up so fast, you got a crick in your neck.

“N-no! That’s not it at all,” you denied, fingers tightening around your fork. He didn’t look convinced at all and you looked back down, biting your lip. “Okay, maybe… maybe it is a  _ little _ bit. I just…” You felt small and foolish again, and wished you’d never brought it up. “Forget I said it, please. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

Silence stretched between the two of you as Isa leaned back in the booth. A long sigh escaped him before he interrupted your mental self berating.

“I don’t.” He paused, and when you didn’t answer, continued on. “I don’t have feelings for her. I just… felt so stupid. So helpless, and weak. Lea and I promised to protect her, and now we can’t even find her. I suppose under all of it, it’s just my own selfish whims.”

“That’s not true. You’re not selfish at all,” you said defiantly. “How could somebody selfish search for her for ten years, with not even a clue of how to find her? That’s the least selfish thing I’ve ever heard.”

His look of surprise made you blush at how adamant you were, and the chuckle that followed made you blush harder.

“I-I just mean—”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

Your words died in your throat at his gentle interruption. You looked up at him slowly, finding he had leaned forward and was resting his head in his hand. Once more, you were reminded of the growing feelings you had for him, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the soft smile he gave you.

“For… for what?”

“For reminding me that things aren’t as black and white as I’ve been led to believe. That good and bad are subjective concepts, and often two sides of the same coin.”

“I…”

“For reminding me what it’s like to be human.”

His admission caused your breath to hitch, and you bit your lip, trying to hide just how pleased his words made you. You hadn’t meant to do anything he’d said you did, but you were happy for it all the same. It was odd to think of Isa as anything but human, but a being without a heart wasn’t exactly human after all. You weren’t sure what to say, so you didn’t say anything, simply reaching out to rest your hand on his arm. He met your gaze and the two of you smiled softly at each other as his free hand covered yours.

He squeezed your hand lightly as you said, “I’ll always be here to remind you of that.”


	7. Shock

**_Shock_ ** **  
**

Shock was the first thing you felt. 

In all your imaginings, and admittedly, there hadn’t actually been many, you had never thought that you and Isa would find Subject X like this. Technically, “found” wasn’t even the appropriate word. She had found the two of you, a small, but commanding presence that reminded you uncomfortably of Aerith — you didn’t particularly want to associate somebody you liked with somebody you had a complicated and perhaps hasty dislike for. She wasn’t anything like what you expected, nothing like the girl in the vague scraps of notes and single confused journal entry the two of you had somehow managed to find in Ansem’s study that most assuredly hadn’t been put there by him. 

You and Isa had finally become comfortable in your routine. The two of you had persisted in your search for the girl, but also maintained enough of a life outside of the lab or the study or the entire castle to keep Aerith happy. And slowly, it had stopped being for Aerith’s benefit and become something the two of you genuinely looked forward to. You had even tentatively begun to label the outings dates in your head, though you hadn’t yet brought it up to Isa. Now you had doubts that you ever would.

The two of you still kept each other at somewhat of a distance, but you didn’t think it was intentional from either of you. There was so much that you didn’t understand about him, would probably never understand about him. He’d been through so much over the past twelve years. You knew it was childish, but you hadn’t been able to stop wondering if, had you been the one that was held in captivity and disappeared mysteriously, he’d keep looking for you with a single-minded intensity for over a decade.

You frowned at the thought. Being jealous of the other girl’s hardships was a foolish, selfish, and childish thing to be. You knew this, but it was difficult to push the feeling away when she turned her brown gaze onto you, a questioning look in it. It was clear that she remembered Isa, so whatever memory loss she had been experiencing before only affected her memories from before she was held captive in the castle.

Held captive. The thought was sobering and you were finally able to push away the last vestiges of jealousy with that thought. Her life had been much harder, much lonelier, much more complicated than yours, even with the fall of Radiant Garden. At least then you had Leon, Aerith, and the others. She’d only had Lea and Isa, and even then, she hadn’t known if she’d ever see them again each time they left.

It was, you thought, pitiful.

Her expression shifted just slightly, and you knew that your sudden shift in mood had been visible. You couldn’t keep yourself from looking away and to Isa, who was staring at her with shock, his normally reserved expressions thrown by the wayside. Besides the truly horrific events of her life, you also knew that Isa needed you. He needed your support. You crossed the room to stand by his side and uncharacteristically and a bit possessively took his hand in yours.

His eyes immediately found yours. Even though the two of you hadn’t exactly crossed into this territory of openly comforting touches, he squeezed your hand tightly back. You smiled at him the best you could and then looked back at the girl. Nobody had spoken since she appeared and said simply, “Hello Isa.”

Not until you spoke.

“I think,” you said, “we have a lot to talk about.”


	8. Insecurity

**_Insecurity_   
**

Things had changed between you and Isa ever since he’d spent the night at your place after Subject X — or rather, Skuld, as you now knew her — had shown up. He was softer, more attentive, his lips more apt to quirk up in a small smile, especially when he looked at you. Whenever the two of you caught eyes, you couldn’t contain your own smile as a light blush dusted your cheeks. Rather than turning your world upside down, the appearance of Skuld had seemed to improve your life, as hard as it was to believe.

There were still times where you had to pause in disbelief, questioning whether or not the night you had spent together had actually happened. But then Isa would smile softly at you, or thoughtlessly brush his hand against yours, or lean in closer to you than he ever would with anybody else and you’d know you hadn’t imagined it. 

Things were going well with the Restoration Committee as well, especially since you and Isa had all but ceased your research into Subject X, considering that she had appeared in front of you and didn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. You still weren’t sure how you felt about her — your moods vacillated between pity and suspicion and you weren’t sure which one was going to win out.

“So you two finally…”

“Huh?”

You looked up at Lea, who was helping out with the Restoration Committee that day while Roxas and Xion visited Riku and Kairi on Destiny Islands.

“You and Isa,” he repeated, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks flush as you understood his implications.

“We— what— no, I—!” You huffed in irritation. You didn’t want to lie and say that you and Isa weren’t more than friends to each other, but it was also none of Lea’s business either.

“So you guys didn’t…?”

You couldn’t look at him when you answered, “...we did.”

“I knew it!”

“Shhh!”

Lea looked far more excited than you thought the situation warranted, considering he wasn’t the one who’d done anything. He waved his hand at you dismissively.

“It’s about time. I haven’t seen Isa that messed up over a girl since Skully over there disappeared.”

“Skuld,” you corrected automatically, even though you felt the rest of your body stiffen at his words.

Isa had told you that he wasn’t in love with her, but that didn’t mean that he had never been. And… it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t fall in love with her again. Your gaze shifted from Lea over to where Isa stood next to Skuld. They weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary, just talking, but you felt a frown on your face nonetheless. Next to you, Lea was still chattering away, the words only partially registering in your still frozen mind.

“Hey,” Lea said, regaining your attention. “Earth to Y/N, you still there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s get this done.”

You grabbed the box of papers you were supposed to take to Merlin — half finished spells hidden inside Ansem’s computer that made it clear why he was a scientist above all else — and shoved past Lea with a little more force than necessary. It seemed impossible that the cloud of bliss that had surrounded you ever since you spent the night with Isa could be shattered so easily, and yet here you were. At that moment, you never wanted to hear the name “Skuld” again.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by at a snail’s pace, and every time you looked up it seemed that Skuld was there. You couldn’t escape her, not that you thought she was following you. After all, the Restoration Committee had less patrolling to do lately and more bureaucratic items, like figuring out where to house all of the people who still couldn’t return to their Heartless infested homes and what those people could do to help. Despite knowing this, you resented her presence all the same, and were grateful to finally get home, and more importantly, away from her.

You sighed heavily as the door shut behind Isa. You didn’t mean to be this way. You really didn’t want to, and honestly had no idea why, when Isa had made his feelings abundantly clear, you couldn’t just be happy with what you had. Why the thoughts of what could be plagued your mind. 

“Something on your mind?” Isa asked from behind you.

His hand rested on your shoulder and you hesitated, even as you leaned into his touch. He was here with you right now, worried about you right now. Why couldn’t that be enough?

“It’s nothing,” you managed.

“I don’t believe you.”

The reply was so immediate, so simple and matter of fact. It left no room for argument.

“It’s just… something Lea said earlier.”

Isa’s hand tightened on your shoulder. He turned you gently to face him, searching your face for clues as to why you were upset.

“What did he say to you? It wasn’t inappropriate, was it?”

“No, no! Nothing like that,” you rushed to say before he could get angry at Lea.

“Then what did he say?” 

He seemed more puzzled than angry now, and you’d rather do anything than bring up the topic of your jealousy again, but you didn’t see any way out of the conversation.

“He said… he said that you were really messed up when Skuld disappeared. That it was basically like you were possessed trying to find her.” Isa stiffened, his expression became stony, but now that you’d started, the words kept coming. “You said that you don’t love her, but it got me thinking that maybe you did once and… and what if you did again?” You finished in a small voice.

It felt like your heart shriveled in your chest when Isa reclaimed his hand and took a step back from you. Though you wanted to continue speaking, wanted to take back every word you said and apologize for ever thinking that way, the words wouldn’t come out. You wished you’d just kept those doubts to yourself.

“Isa, I—”

“I understand you have reservations,” he interrupted, “but given how many times we’ve had this conversation, I…” He shook his head. “I would think my feelings towards you are evident.”

“Isa…”

Though his tone was even, you could see the briefest glimmer of pain on his face before he closed his eyes and composed his expression again. You stepped forward, reaching towards him, but he gently pushed your hands away.

“I think it would be best if I went home tonight.”

Before you could formulate a response, he pulled away completely, crossing the room and closing the door behind him. For a long moment, you just stood there in mute horror. It hadn’t been an argument, not exactly, but it felt as devastating as one and had thoroughly ruined the sense of bliss you’d been floating on since the two of you spent the night together. Only one thing was for certain. If you didn’t get your jealousy under control soon, there might not be a ‘you and Isa’ anymore.


End file.
